Chasing Dreams: From the Couch to the Chicago Marathon

June 1, 2024

While the London Marathon has been my ultimate dream for over a decade, my current focus is on a closer target: the Chicago Marathon. With 134 days left until race day and training kicking off on Monday, I find myself struggling with a negative mindset.

It’s tough knowing that my negativity serves no real purpose other than to nurse an ego. Shifting from that place is easier said than done. You might wonder, what’s there to be negative about?

I’ve been fortunate enough to complete two marathons in the past. However, those races were 10 and 13 years ago. I was younger, thinner, and fitter. After nearly a decade-long break from serious running, the journey from the couch to the Chicago Marathon within a year feels incredibly daunting.

In the past five months, I’ve gone from zero running to managing up to five miles. I won’t lie—it’s been really hard. As an obese woman in her mid-50s, these five miles have been an emotional and physical rollercoaster. There have been countless mornings where I’ve wanted to cry, drenched in sweat and feeling nearly defeated, often reduced to walking.

We’re relatively new to the Chicagoland area, which has its own set of challenges. Establishing roots in a new place is hard and lonely. My friends and everyone I care about, except my spouse, are hundreds of miles away. Making new friends at our age, especially as an introvert who mostly works from home, is no easy task. I signed up for a group training program for the Chicago Marathon, hoping to meet people with shared interests and give myself the best chance of crossing the finish line.

This week, our training plans were released. I’ve been assigned to the purple group. While I love the color purple, I’m not thrilled with my plan. It’s a 3/2 run/walk plan, meaning three minutes of running followed by two minutes of walking. In the past, I’ve never incorporated structured walking into my runs. I’d prepared myself for the possibility of being assigned to a run/walk group, but I was hoping for the 4/1 group, not the 3/2 group. Additionally, the assigned run days aren’t my usual running days.

Intellectually, I know it’s a fair assignment. I’ve been placed in the slowest group with the most and longest walk breaks, which makes sense given my goal to go from the couch to a marathon in 10 months. My brain understands that this plan probably offers me the highest probability of completing the marathon within the time limit. But my heart is struggling to accept it.

Despite this, I’m determined to push through. This journey is about more than just running; it’s about growth, resilience, and proving to myself that I can achieve my goals. Here’s to embracing the challenge, one step at a time, and finding strength in the journey.

Finding Motivation: A Reflection on the London Marathon and the Launch of My Blog

April 21, 2024

Today's the day. It's one of those keystone dates by which we mark our lives. It's the London Marathon! Fourteen years ago, my partner and I sat huddled around a computer screen. None of the neighbors were awake and they wouldn't be for hours. Across the pond, the London Marathon was kicking off as the timer on our coffee pot started our first morning brew. It was 4AM. Sipping our coffee, following Twitter feeds and refreshing the online tracking, we felt the emotional ups and downs of runners we'd never met but felt that we somehow knew.

Six months before, after weeks and weeks of training, I'd finally done it. I'd run my first mile. It was slow. It was painfully slow but I'd done it. I'd run a mile, a mile without stopping, and I was well chuffed. As with many new runners, I immersed myself in all things running, including following running threads on social media. Through those threads, we became connected to runners all across the United Kingdom, following their training, talking with them about the miles they logged, the places they ran, and their lives beyond running.

There we sat. Glued to our computer, completely enthralled by the first of many London marathons. Completely elated by the experience of tracking our runners and their tales of trial, tribulation, and triumph, I entered the lottery for the 2011 London Marathon. It wasn't meant to be. Rejected. I ran the Pittsburgh Marathon instead.

I find myself marking the passage of time, year after year, not by my birthday as most people do, but by the running (or in my case, non-running) of the London Marathon. We boot up the computer, flip on the tele and scramble for the best streaming coverage online. We cheer. We reminisce. We talk about those runners across the pond, how they've touched our lives and left us forever changed. Some we still follow and chat with online. A few we've met up with. Others we've long since lost track of.

Year after year, I've thrown my hat into the ring. The first few years, I thought, "that's ok. It's good that I didn't get in. I'll be fitter next year. I'll be faster next year. It'll make it all the better." Eventually that turned into, "if I can only get in, it'll be the boost I need to start running again." Followed by, "well, it's probably for the best. I'm 70 pounds heavier, passed middle age, and I haven't run in ages. I probably couldn't do it anyway."

The last few years have taken their toll; a job change, the pandemic, multi-cross country moves, a breast cancer scare and finally, two separate allergic reactions to colonoscopy preps. The last of which almost killed me. I'll never forget laying in a hospital bed, all alone, late at night, fading in and out of sleep (or possibly consciousness) listening to the blood pressure machine alarm repeatedly. As the nurse injected something into my I.V. she said, "I've given you something to help get your blood pressure up. We've got to get it up." I sunk back deeper into the bed and thought, "this really isn't how I wanted to die, from a fuckin' colonoscopy prep."

There's something about almost dying that really makes you take stock of your life. I grappled for weeks with feelings I never knew that I had. I thought a lot about my life; what I've accomplished, who I've loved, where I've been, what's been left undone, unseen, unsaid. As I recovered from the reaction and made peace with my reflection of my life, a few things became abundantly clearly.

1. I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love my partner. They inspire me daily and are truly the best thing that's ever happened to me.

2. When you think you're going to die, work/career suddenly doesn't seem very important. That's because it's merely a means to an end, for me at least. I am not my job.

3. I've never been happier, calmer, healthier or more at peace than when I ran.

4. I'm going to do the London Marathon. I don't know how yet but it's going to happen.

After nearly 10 years of not running, I entered the lottery for the 2024 Chicago Marathon. On December 7, 2023 I received the "application accepted" email letting me know I got in. I....got...in. I'm running the 2024 Chicago Marathon.

It's going to be a wild ride going from essentially the couch to the Chicago Marathon in less than a year. I've always been an "unlikely runner." If you stick around, we'll likely talk more about that in the future. For now, I'm an "unlikely runner" because I'm truly going from being an obese sofa surfer who's shell shocked and overwhelmed by the last few years to a marathoner. I'm old(er). I'm fat. I'm also going to make it happen. Not only that, I'm going to run the London Marathon. I don't know how yet but it's going to happen!

Perhaps it's foolish or even arrogant to think that I can not only go from the couch to the Chicago Marathon in less than a year but that I can also get into and complete another Abbott World Major Marathon 6 months later. Maybe it is foolish. I don't know. What I do know is that the universe is conspiring to make our dreams come true and I still have an awful lot of living to do.

#londonmarathonorbust